Betrayal
by oliviaelliot
Summary: A drunken Elliot goes to Olivia for help . . . and ends up doing more than he bargained for. Now he has to choose: Kathy or Olivia.
1. Regretting

A/N: Sorry about all that confusion, folks. My computer was messed up, so my friend was updating the fanfic...and she posted the chapters wrong. So sorry about that. I hope you enjoy! Please be nice...it's my first fanfic. :)

Chapter 1

"_I can't believe this is happening."_

It didn't happen. It _never_ happened.

Elliot sat there, on his front step, saying it over and over again to himself.

"_It didn't happen."_

He heard the door creak open slowly behind him. He knew she was standing there. He squared his shoulders and wiped his tears away. He couldn't show his tears to her. He couldn't.

"Elliot, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice was still groggy from sleep yet full of concern.

"Nothing… a case just got to me, that's all."

"Oh… okay. Well, come inside."

He brushed past her, wiping the new tears away. How could he ever face her again? Show her his tears?

_It didn't happen._

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She was left at her apartment, crying. What had they done? How could they have committed such a sinful act?

She buried her face in her hands and a sob escaped her lips. She shivered and pulled the blanket closer around her. She fingered the gold necklace her mother had given her. 'To Olivia, with love' it said. She sobbed again. Why did this have to happen to her?


	2. Contemplation

Chapter 2

When he walked into the precinct, he was shaking with nervousness. Would their partnership ever be the same?

He slowly walked through the doors of the precinct marked 'Special Victims Unit.' She was, of course, already there. She always arrived earlier than him. She was bent over her paperwork, her brow furrowed in concentration. God, she was so beautiful. He shook his head, as if to chase the thoughts from his head. He could not afford to be thinking like that. Not when he was married. But then again… would it matter anymore? After what had happened, if unfaithful thoughts filled his head… would it really matter?

He strode briskly towards his desk. He knew she had seen him. She knew he was there. She just chose not to acknowledge it. She was still laboriously bent over her paperwork, scribbling away. He knew that as dedicated to her work as she was, it wasn't the paperwork that kept her attention away from him.

He sighed and looked over the paperwork he had to do from the last case. There was quite a bit. He bent over the files and started writing.

He heard a door open, and he looked up. Cragen walked in and said, "Stabler, Benson, we have a new case." They both got up simultaneously. He felt happy that he could abandon all this paperwork for later, but then he panicked. If they had a case, he would have to talk to Olivia. He would have to confront her. He sighed. Olivia looked at him peculiarly.

"Where to, Cap?" he asked.

Cragen gave them an address – and then they were off.

They walked in silence towards the elevator. All the way towards the car, they were silent, both contemplating the past few days.

It had all started on Saturday…

It had been a long day. One of those days where the case really got to him, and he knew he couldn't bring it all home to Kathy and the kids. Olivia had offered him to go out and get a drink, but he had declined. He just needed to be alone. He headed out to a bar in a remote location, so he knew for a fact he wouldn't meet Fin or Liv or Munch or anyone he knew. He knew it was a bad idea to get drunk, but he needed the refuge. Afterwards he'd been drunk and had just stumbled out of there, he didn't know where to go. All thoughts of anything clear and sensible were wiped out of his head. He needed someone. A special someone. Liv. And even though he knew it was a bad idea, and that he would regret it later, he hailed a cab to Liv's place. When he arrived, it was one in the morning. She groggily answered the intercom, and he announced himself in a gruff voice. She sounded surprised, but she let him in. When he went to her door, she answered in nothing but a tank top and short-shorts. He looked her over, longing building in his lower stomach. She could see the raw desire in his eyes, and she was scared. She backed up against the wall and told him that he was drunk and that he should go. But he knew she wanted him. _He knew._ And that's when it all started…

"ELLIOT!" Olivia screamed. He snapped out of his trance.

"What is up with you? I've said your name at least 10 times!"

"Sorry Liv, I was just…thinking." She knew exactly what he was thinking about.

"We're at the car." She said quietly.

He walked towards the passenger side and opened the door for her. She looked surprised at this new, chivalrous side of him, but she sat down. He walked around to the other side and sat inside. He started to drive. He desperately wanted to hold her when he saw the sad, forlorn look in her eyes. But he refrained. Instead he chose to talk.

"Want to go grab a bite to eat?"

She looked at him, astonished. "Something to eat? El, it's only 9:00!"

"Yeah, but I'm hungry." He replied back. He didn't want her to know he was only going there so they could talk peacefully.

She shrugged. "Well…okay."

She was sure he wanted to talk. They needed to talk about this. And they couldn't talk while half his attention was on the road.

They pulled over at a small diner.

"You know this place?" Olivia asked.

"No, but it looks okay."

They walked inside and sat down at a booth. She ordered coffee and he ordered some coffee and a sandwich. The waitress brought both their orders, but he wasn't hungry, so they both sipped at their coffee.

He put his coffee down and wiped his mouth. "We need to talk about this, Liv." That was all it took to trigger the emotions in her.

"Talk about what, Elliot? WHAT? You're married, and we made a terrible mistake. What is there to talk about?"

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Do you regret it?" he asked quietly.

"What?" she said, her voice lowering.

"I said; do you regret it?"

"Yes…no… I don't know. What do you expect me to say, Elliot? You're married!" she sighed and rubbed her forehead. She dropped her head to her hands.

She mumbled, "No, I don't regret it."

He shook his head. "I don't either."

Her head jerked up quickly. "You don't?"

"No, I don't."

"What are you going to say to Kathy?"

"I don't know, Liv, I really don't know." Her heart beat quicker when she heard him use the affectionate nickname.

"You'll have to say something. What did you say about…about the night that it happened?"

"I said that I had a tough case, so I worked until late. I told her I didn't want to wake her and possibly the kids up, so I slept in the crib."

"How are you going to deal with all these lies, Elliot? We'll have to lie to everyone, just because of one night! We can't tell anybody. Not Kathy, not Cragen, not ANYONE. And…and I hate that."

"Why do you hate it?"

"Elliot, you are LYING to your wife of 20 years! Don't you feel regret in doing that?"

"…Is that the only thing you hate?"

She struggled to control herself. She knew what she wanted to say…but couldn't. No, it's not the only thing she hated! She loved him so much…she had loved him for so long. She had wanted that night to happen for such a long time. She didn't know when, but at some point in the past 5 years, she had fallen in love with him. But he was married. He was off limits. So she settled for lesser men…men she always seemed to compare to Elliot. She was never in a decent relationship. And then he came along on Saturday…and everything changed. But he came to her drunk. He had no idea what was going on. He didn't realize what he had done until he woke up the next day in her bed. And the fact that he didn't know what he was doing hurt her. It hurt her like hell. She loves him so much, and he doesn't love her at all. She was an object – he used her. And now she was hurting. She wanted to say so much…but she knew she couldn't. It would ruin their whole relationship. She knew he didn't love her – wasn't it obvious? If he had loved her, he would leave Kathy for her. Leave Kathy for their love. But instead he chose to lie to her. What could she say?

"No, it's not the only thing I hate. I hate all the lies, all the deception we'll have to go through just to cover that one night up. But I also hate the fact that we'll never be the same again. Our partnership will always be different now. We'll never be the same ever again." Tears ran slowly down her face. She hung her head. "Never again…" she whispered.

"Liv," he said softly. He tilted her chin upwards. She looked with wet eyes at him. "Liv, we'll be fine. I promise." He pressed his lips lightly to hers. Her eyes widened slightly. He pulled back. "I'll always be there for you. Always."


	3. Broken Relationship

Chapter 3

Kathy leaned back in her chair, just thinking. Thinking about how, on Saturday, Elliot hadn't come home. How he hadn't opened up to her about the case. How he was so distant lately.

She rubbed her forehead and sighed. What was becoming of them? Of their family? He was always away at work, and he barely ever saw the kids. He came home from work after they were asleep, and left to go to work before they were awake. Weekends were the only days he got to see them. And at times he got called out on weekends too.

And then there was Olivia. His gorgeous partner of 5 years. Kathy was sure he had feelings for her. But what could she say to him? "Hi, Elliot, it's nice to see you finally. Do you love Olivia?" No, that just wouldn't work.

She started crying softly. What could she do about their broken relationship? She knew that it had gone cold a few years ago. She never saw him. She couldn't ask him to chose between her and work, because she knew that being a part of the Special Victims Unit was a part of him now. He couldn't leave. She sobbed again. She knew that he had only married her because she had become pregnant. This – her life – had always been centered on Elliot. Could she ever leave him? Could she? He was her first lover, and she had married him. She knew their relationship was long gone, but could she ever leave the past 20 years?

She knew she had to do something.


	4. Alone

Chapter 4

She shivered when she looked at the small, rectangular box on her bathroom counter. The box that could change her life. The box that could change everything.

She was jolted out of her thoughts when she heard the loud knocking at the door. Oh no, not now, she thought as she slowly got up from her spot on the edge of the bathtub.

She walked to her door and yelled, "Who is it?"

"It's me, Elliot," came the gruff reply.

She shook her head and sighed. Why did he have to come now?

She opened the door and rubbed her forehead.

"What do you want, Elliot?" she asked. "I'm tired."

"I just wanted to talk," he replied. "Can I come in?"

"El, can we do this later?" she asked him.

"Please, Liv, just give me a chance."

She sighed dejectedly. "Okay, come on in." She reluctantly opened the door wider to let him in.

He walked in and sunk into her overstuffed couch. He looked gaunt and pale. She briefly wondered what had happened to him before she sat on the couch beside him.

"What's wrong, El?" she asked him with concern in her voice. "You look like hell." She said to lighten the heavy mood.

"Kathy asked for a divorce," He said flatly.

Olivia's eyes widened with concern and pity. "What?" she said, her voice soft.

"She asked for a divorce," he repeated.

"Oh, El." Olivia said as she enfolded Elliot in a hug.

She stroked his back, and he gripped her tightly.

"Olivia, why?" he jerked back from the comfort and refuge of her arms. "We had been married for 20 years. How can she just throw that all away as if it means nothing?" he stood up and angrily wiped his tears away.

"Elliot," Olivia said and reached for him.

"No!" he yelled and thrust her away. "NO!" he yelled again.

Olivia stood there quietly, watching Elliot struggle to gain control of his emotions.

"Come here, El," Olivia whispered and stretched out her arms.

He came to her, and buried his face in her neck. She stroked his back lovingly.

"Just give me a second," he said quietly as he pulled away from the hug.

He strode to the washroom to wipe away his tears and to put himself together. She sank wearily into the couch. She was so tired. But Elliot needed her now, and she couldn't just turn away. After all, he had always been there for her.

She heard the door open behind her, but she didn't turn around. She just closed her eyes sleepily. When she heard the door slam, she jumped. She turned around slowly. What was wrong with him?

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. He stood there, anger blazing in his eyes, holding the pregnancy test box in his hand.

"What is this, Olivia?" he asked, elaborating each of the words, so he wouldn't become overly angry.

"It's…it's…you know what it is, Elliot." She whispered.

"When were you going to tell me about this, Olivia?" he asked heatedly.

"Elliot, I don't even know whether…whether I am. And if I am, why would it matter to you?"

"Why would it matter to me? Olivia, this is my child you're talking about!" he yelled furiously.

"Elliot, I can take care of myse-"

"This isn't about taking care of yourself, Olivia! Don't you see? You're so independent, and so stubborn, and I, of all people, know that. But if you are pregnant, it's my child! I'm not going to leave the child's responsibilities all on you! Don't you remember Olivia?" he said, losing some of the anger. "Don't you remember? I told you I would always be there for you." He whispered.

She sighed. "I don't even know if I am."

"Aren't you going to check?"

"Elliot, I think you better leave now." She said, with pain in her voice. "Please…just…I need to be alone."

"Liv, you can't do everything alone." He said affectionately.

"Please, Elliot. Leave," she whispered.

He hung his head, but reluctantly said, "Okay, Liv, whatever you like."

"Thank you, El," she said softly.

After he had left, Olivia slid down the wall and buried her face in her hands. She started to cry. Why did she ask him to leave? Why? When she was so alone, and had been for so long, why did she ask him to leave? She wanted someone there – she truly did.

She slowly got up from her desolate position against the wall and wiped away her tears. She trudged to the bathroom with the pregnancy test box in her hand. She had to do this. She had to be strong. She had to.


	5. Sleep

Chapter 5

As Elliot plodded down the stairs towards his car, he was reflecting on what had happened. What _would_ happen if Olivia turned out to be pregnant? Would he stay by her side?

He shook his head. Of _course _he would stay with her. He would support her. Just like he did with Kathy.

But he knew that Olivia wouldn't like that. He knew that she wouldn't want him to stand by her and be there for her _just _because she was pregnant.

And even if she were pregnant, would she even have the baby? I'm sure she wouldn't abort it…would she?

This whole business was much too complicated for his tired brain to decipher now. He hadn't had much sleep in the past few days…too much stress. Kathy asking for a divorce had kept him wide-awake.

He yawned and climbed into his car. It would be much easier to think about everything if he had a good night's sleep. He would go home, rest, and leave the thinking for later.


	6. Sickness

Chapter 6

He walked into the precinct, deep in thought again. Just a few days ago he had walked through these same doors, with his life still complete. Now he was so empty. Kathy had left him, and it was possible he had even made Olivia pregnant. If someone had come up to him a few days ago and told him that all this would happen, he would have laughed at him. How could so much happen in so little time?

When he reached his desk, he noticed that Olivia's desk was empty. How could that be? She was always there earlier than him. Was something wrong?

Of course nothing was wrong. She was just a little late, that's all. Nothing to worry about.

Cragen walked out of his office and said, "Stabler, I need to see you."

Elliot, confused, rose up out of his seat and swiftly walked into the office.

"What's up, Cap?"

"Olivia has taken today off. She said she was sick."

Elliot immediately thought up all the things that could have happened to her. He knew that he was being irrational, so he just said, "Okay, Cap."

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After his paperwork was over and done with, Elliot had come home. As much as he wanted to check up on Olivia, he didn't want to come over unannounced. Like he did when it happened…

He rubbed his forehead and said quietly to himself, 'Stop thinking about that, Elliot. It happened, and so it happened.'

He picked up the phone and dialed the number he was so used to calling. He called her every night so he could check up on whether she'd arrived safely home.

"Benson," said a tired voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey," replied Elliot.

"Oh…it's you." She said wearily.

"Oh, it's you? Aren't you so glad to hear my voice," Elliot replied sarcastically.

"What do you want, El? I'm so tired now," she answered.

"Just wanted to check up on how you're doing," Elliot said and then paused. "Why did you take a day off from work? You _never_ take days off. Even when you're sick."

"I just needed some time to think. Sometime to…contemplate," she replied softly.

"…What was the result?" Elliot whispered.


End file.
